Intimacy and Sexual Concerns
You’ve been keeping secrets from your partner. What started out as occasional porn use has changed to daily use, and even multiple times per day. They have no idea that you’ve been watching so much porn, or that you go to massage parlors. You’ve paid for sex before, and you’d be crushed if your partner found out. Keeping these secrets is making you feel anxious and on edge, but you don’t know how to stop. It’s impacting your relationship, your sex life with your committed partner, and your work. You feel distracted, and you feel like you’re thinking about sex all the time. You know it’s a problem, but you can’t bring yourself to talk to anyone about it. You feel helpless, and even hopeless at times.
You’ve decided it’s time to make a change.
“I’m tired of Keeping secrets…”
You may wonder whether you can control your sexual desires or whether healthy sexuality is even possible for you. Feelings of frustration, confusion and overwhelm are common experiences but know you are not alone. We understand that talking about sex, fantasies, and urges can be uncomfortable but there is support and a path forward.
Isolation
Trouble Concentrating
Feeling distant, or withdrawn from friends and family
Anxiety
Maybe You’re Experiencing Some of These Symptoms:
Anger and irritability
Depression
Difficulty getting a good night’s sleep
Our Approach
Therapists at Wandering Pine Wellness use evidence-based treatment modalities to address concerns associated with sexual urges, fantasies and behavior. Research strongly supports the use of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for treating these concerns. Through CBT, you’ll learn to better understand the relationship between your sexual thoughts, impulses and behavior. For example, your pornography use may have contributed to unrealistic expectations of partnered sex and thus, impacted your ability to engage in meaningful and pleasurable sex with your partner. For example, you may be constantly striving for novel experiences that your partner isn’t comfortable with. Together, we’ll unpack the beliefs you hold about sex. We’ll and identify any unrealistic or inaccurate thinking, perceptions or beliefs. Through acceptance and understanding, we’ll explore what healthy sexuality looks like for you, and take steps to improve your sexual wellbeing.
FAQ
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No. Your privacy is our top priority. It would be a violation of your confidentiality if we did this. Our therapists adhere to strict confidentiality protocols, ensuring that your sessions remain confidential within the bounds of the law and ethical guidelines.
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Fear and apprehension are normal. What we ask is that during therapy is that you remain committed to doing the work both during your sessions and outside of them.
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Our therapists have a combined 15 years of experience working particularly with men on sex and intimacy related issues.
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Not at this time.
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Having healthy, professional relationships with women can be very healing. Our female therapists have many years working exclusively with men on these concerns. If you’re worried that discussing these concerns with your therapist will be off-putting to them, rest asured, they’ve probably helped many other clients with the same concerns.
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“Sex addiction” or “porn addiction” have become popular terms in today’s society; however, they are not the terms that we use at Wandering Pine Wellness. According to researchers, sex addiction lacks the neurobiological evidence of addiction that is observed in alcoholism, gambling addiction, and substance use. The term sex addiction has led some to justify problematic behaviors under the guise of addiction while it has led others to question their own sexuality.
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If you’re coming to therapy to address this behavior alone, it’s unlikely that insurance will pay for services. Insurance requires a diagnosis, and “sex addiction” is not a diagnosable condition nor is it supported by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
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In general, these concerns are best addressed with a certified sex therapist and/or your medical team. If your sexual desire and low libido is a symptom of trauma, check out our page on trauma.
