Therapy With an ADHD Therapist: I’m Not Judging Your Coping Mechanisms—I Probably Use Them Too
If you’ve never done therapy with an ADHD therapist, consider this both an introduction and a warning. I, too, will be using fidget toys during our sessions. I will probably also lead us down an ADHD rabbit hole (but I’ll do my best to bring us back)! And yes, I’m going to forget your dog’s name for the first couple of sessions. Not because I’m disinterested in your life, but because I have some ADHD-related memory deficits.
If you’re looking for a therapist who “gets” ADHD because they’ve read a book about it, or took an online training that claims to be affirming, that’s cool. But if you want someone who lives it—who knows the thrill of hyperfocus and the shame-spiral of inbox avoidance—you’ve come to the right place. I’m Gina and I’m an ADHD therapist. This post will discuss what to expect if you’re interested in working with me.
We’re probably both fidgeting
In my office (or virtually), fidgeting isn’t just allowed—it’s expected. Not in a “you better be fidgeting, too!” kind of way, a “I won’t be surprised or bothered if you use fidgets during our sessions. I’ll probably also share some of my favorite fidgets with you. Actually, I’ll tell you now; I LOVE putty and push pops. If you’ve got your own go-to object, stim toy, or doodle pad, perfect! I’ll never ask you to “sit still and focus,” because we both know that’s not how ADHD brains and bodies work best.
Sessions may get a little tangenty. That’s not a bug—it’s a feature. I’m here to help you find clarity, build systems, and untangle emotional wounds… but if we take a scenic route through your latest hyperfixation on the way there, I’m here for it!
I’ll be using assistive technology during sessions
You’ll also notice I use assistive technology in sessions. That might look like:
Typing notes while we talk (because I might forget that great insight if I don’t).
Using an AI transcription app to help me write notes in a timely fashion.
Pulling up my color-coded calendar to schedule your next appointment—and still showing up one minute late with the Owalla bottle that I just topped off.
These tools aren’t a crutch. They’re supports—just like whatever systems you’re using to get you through the day today. My systems aren’t perfect, but we’re not aiming for perfection here. We’re aiming for function and sustainability.
We probably share some of the same coping strategies
You have five partially-finished drinks sitting on your desk with you? Same. You use a specific playlist to trick your brain into answering emails? Me too! You’re driven by competition and collaboration? Yup, same. Body-doubling and friendly competition works wonders for my productivity.
During our sessions, we’ll talk about what’s working and what isn’t. If you can only answer emails when you have a body double with you, I’m not here to shame you. I’m here to help you understand your current systems, adapt them, and maybe celebrate your creative solutions.
We Won’t Just Scratch the Surface (If You Want to Go Deeper)
Some clients come to therapy [for ADHD] wanting sessions to feel more coach-y—and I love that. We’ll talk about your current systems, troubleshoot what’s not working, and brainstorm adjustments together. You’ll walk away with strategies to try, and new systems in place. For a lot of folks, that’s exactly what they need.
For other folks, the real challenge isn’t just executive dysfunction. It’s what those struggles have come to mean about them, and what they’ve told themselves when things didn’t go their way. Maybe you’ve internalized beliefs like “I’m lazy,” “I’ll never get it together,” or “I’m a fuck up.” Maybe shame has been running the show for a while. If that’s the case, and you’re open to it, we can go deeper. When clients give me permission to dig beneath the surface, we can start untangling the roots of self-doubt and shame. We can work through the negative beliefs that keep you stuck and—yes—actually change how you feel about yourself.
I won’t get too far into the weeds here, but I’ve found eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to be incredibly effective for shifting long-held beliefs that hold ADHDers back. It’s not about “functioning” better—it’s about actually feeling better.
You’re not broken if therapy hasn’t worked in the past. Maybe you just haven’t been supported the right way.
I know how easy it is to internalize the idea that you're “lazy” or “not trying hard enough,” especially when other people in your life have told you these things. The truth is, most ADHD adults (especially late-diagnosed) have been failed by the systems around them for years. Therapy isn’t about making you more palatable to those systems—it’s about helping you thrive in a world that wasn’t built for your brain.
What If I Haven’t Been Officially Diagnosed With ADHD, but I Think I Have It?
Great question. First of all: yes. Neurodiversity-affirming perspectives recognize self-diagnosis as valid. Many people without an “official” diagnosis simply haven’t had the means to obtain one. Lack of diagnostic ability disproportionately affects minority communities, including women and people of color. If you’ve been resonating with ADHD content and thinking, this feels like me, you’re not alone—and you’re probably not wrong. In my work, I’ve found that an overwhelming majority of folks who think they’re ADHD are correct.
That said, if you’re looking for a formal assessment, I can help with that too. I offer ADHD assessments for adults, and we can either do it as a standalone service or continue working together afterward—it’s totally up to you. You can learn more about the process here:
wanderingpinewellness.com/adhd-testing
If you’re ready to unlearn some old beliefs, get curious about your patterns, and maybe even have fun doing it, I’d love to meet you.
I’ll be here holding some glittery putty and trying to remember the name of your dog.
